|Bittersweet by JL89|
She said that she always liked literature and history and liked to talk about it with her friends in school. Her friends, however, thought those topics are too heavy. They preferred talking about the most recent movie, or gossip on the stars. She thought that what the stars are doing don't concern her at all, and so do I. Because of that she doesn't group with her friends as well, and I think I'm the same way. I'm not a person that knows how to communicate with people that well. Mostly I would sit and read while my friends are doing what they're doing around me. In high school I'm a bit better, I would sometimes talk and participate, but in primary school, I would literally sit and read while the others talked (not that it's all that different now). I'm sorry guys, I don't know why you put up with me.
I'm an only child and I like to read. I'm comfortable reading by myself because I'm used to it. I would sometimes use reading as a shield, I'm scared of talking to people sometimes. I worry about not knowing what to say, saying the wrong thing and the people not liking me. When I'm reading there's no such concerns, I know that I'm safe. It's definitely a problem I have to overcome. The strange thing is, I'm the opposite of the person who's accompanying me. If they are confidant and strong, I would doubt a lot and think too much. If they are indecisive and shy, I would be the one to just go and do it. It that strange?
My friend told me that when she was in high school, she would say what she thought. But now that she's working, she would always filter her words. When we're a baby, our world consists of only ourself, we are the only one that matters. Then as we're growing up, our world expands from just consisting of just ourselves, to our family, then to friends, school, and eventually our workplace. We have to interact with more and more people, as one by one they become important to us, whether because we like them or because they can sack us. We lose that fearlessness, or foolishness, that delusion of not being afraid of anything because we didn't know anything could hurt us. We touched naked fire, because we didn't knwo it could burn us. It's hurt us once, and we remember to be afraid. My friend said that she's not as pure as before, in the sense that she sometimes doesn't say what she thinks. And I suppose that's growing up.
Onto something entirely random, she thought I was 10 or 11 years old. Do I look that young? She's known me for at least half a year now. I've had people, especially people older than me think I'm in primary school, year 8, that I'm 8, 10, 12, 14 years old, and one time, 8. It's a reoccurring mistake, I don't get it. Is it my behaviour of my appearance? Even if Asian children have a tendency to look younger than we are, it's happened so many times to me. Has it ever happened to any of you guys?