Jan 11, 2012

how did yearbook bring out so much other stuff

Day 235/365 ~ Years Go By and Time Just Seems to Fly but the Memories Remain

Helena and Cinda are both having to fill out surveys for their yearbook. Doesn't that just hit home the fact that there's really not long at all until this stage of our lives are over? Looking at Cinda's answers, I remembered that she was in the same class as me in year 7 and 8. I don't really remember talking to you much during that time, Cinda. Do you? But I still talk to you while I'm not really talking to the people I was talking to in year 7 and 8. Is it a sign of my advanced years that I get so nostalgic at a drop of a hat or a sign that I'm just a person that always thinks too much? No matter which one it is, it's led to this long introspective piece of rambling after the cut that you are under no obligation to read.

I think that every time I was thrown into a different set of people, I was separated from the old set pretty throughly. I don't talk to any of my schoolmates from kindergarden to year 3, because we're separated by an entire ocean. I don't talk to my primary school friends anymore, because I moved house and our lives never intersect anymore. I'm not talking to many people from my old high school anymore because there's no longer that link of going to the same school. Thank whatever higher being there is out there that we're still communicating through blogs.

Aside from that, as I get older, I do feel like I'm able to stay more linked with people that I'm not be able to meet face to face regularly. No matter what you say about technology bringing the world together, when I was 9 I simply didn't have the access to those technology to keep in touch with my classmates in China. There was one girl that sent a letter to my home in China and had my Grandma bring it to me when she came to Australia, but that's a fairly time-consuming and frankly inefficient way, especially for young children. On a completely unrelated note, when I left my Chinese classmates gave me going away presents from their own private stashes of pretty stationary (only the girls, of course), which was quite nice of them, considering the very short notice (around half-an-hour, even for me). We didn't exchange phone numbers or email address because we didn't use them to communicate with each other. It was a boarding school so we were together for a lot of the time, and during the holidays we simply didn't know what was going on with each other.

I think that it's definitely true that when you were young you were less afraid because you didn't know what to fear. When I was making the decision to transfer from schools I was pretty reluctant to be away from this familiar community of people I built around me. When I was coming to Australia I didn't even think of it, though there's a lot more reason for a girl who doesn't know English to fear not fitting into an Australian school than a girl who had already been in the Australian education system for 7 years.

I mean, when me and my Mum first came we lived in a 2 bedroom flat with no bed, no tables and no chairs. We bought the cheapest breadstick (not even loafs, it was old stale-ish breadsticks) Woolworth had and a vegetable and beef soup was something of a treat. We had no idea how to get around and we mistook the sign pointing to the library as the name of the street. Mum didn't have a stable job and I understood almost nothing of the lessons taught in school and neither of us knew English. Mum told me she was pretty scared at the time, but I was just perfectly happy to be doing what I was doing, eating food that was pretty bad compared to what I had in China and reading books from the library. I felt no apprehension whatsoever! If the older me were in that same position, I don't know if I could have taken it as well as I had. At the very least I'm more likely to have seen my Mum's worries, which would have affected me. But of course, the past is always seen through a nostalgia filter, where it seems we tend to only remember the good. But it's a good mechanism for us to remain positive and optimistic, qualities that are both very important for leading a healthy, happy life. I for one can't wait to be done with this year and be able to look back on it fondly.

But this has gone on long enough, I think, so I'll stop my rambling here and leave you in peace. This had no structure and no point except for me to put whatever went through my mind into writing.



    It didn't really hit me when I was completing the survey, and it still hasn't hit me that the HSC is the all important end to our high school life. But hearing you say it now kind of got me thinking about it too.

    I remember having a really close friend back in primary, but she moved and changed schools. Back then, all I could do was cry about the fact that we won't see eachother again. I don't have her email because that technology was not available to me back then, nor do I have her new address, or phone number, etc. Now I wonder how she's going, I wonder if she remembers me, I wonder if she's gone the bad path and started doing drugs, I wonder if her personality has changed.

    Luckily, I still live where I live now, you've had it worse than me, moving so much, you must have felt a dislocation everytime it happened. I'm still in contact with some of my primary school friends through msn, and most of my good friends from my old high school through facebook. But I find that they've changed, in personality, and I can tell by the way they talk, the way they act. Or maybe it is I who has changed. They say that I've become so much more serious and quiet, and lost some of my bubbliness.

    I'm glad that even though one long (but seemingly quick) year has passed, you haven't changed too much, a little more solemn in tone, a little bit wiser and you've definitely gotten heaps better at English, LOL. But I'm even more glad that we can still talk and stay connected through blogs :) When we grow up and I have my job and all that shizzle, I'll crash at your house EVERYDAY until you get sick of seeing me. But we'll see what the future has in store for us.

  2. Hey Xiao :)

    Of course I remember talking to you back in year 7 and 8! You were quiet and bookish and rarely struck conversations with people though. funny how times have changed and by the end of year 10 we became good friends ^ ^
    I wasn't a very kind person back in year 7 and I was very snobby until even snobbier girls publically humiliated me =.= I hope I never treated you unkindly :S

    It's sweet of you to make this post and it's struck the nostalgic nerve on me too. Ting used to be my best friend back in preschool and kindy and now the effort to stay in contact is so hard (please tell her I say hi when school starts again? I can't find her on facebook and she doesn't msn :/)

    Some of my old friends from primary haven't changed much but we kinda lost contact... some have taken to dropping out of school, drinking and whatnot D,: Environment sure changes people.

    Your beginning in Australia sure seemed tough. No wonder you escaped to the land of storybooks so much (on top of the fact that you liked reading) >_<

    I wonder if any of us will go to the same uni? It would be a nice way to keep in touch with you and Helena. plus, that way, our friendships won't drift further apart...

  3. Thank you both for your kind words, I was a little iffy about posting it because it's quite a bit of text and it might feel overly sentimental, but I'm glad you liked it.

    @H: I'm very grateful that we stayed in contact in this way, and you're definitely welcome to crash at my house for as long as you like. Hell, we might even be room mates/share a flat! It would certainly be cheaper. What I'm worried about is whether your parents would allow it. They don't really let you go out right?

    @C: i don;t remember you treating me with anything less than kindness. :) It is funny how relationships between people do change, isn't it. Sometimes it's hard to tell if our relationships change because we've changed or if the change in relationships changed us. I will tell Ting hi for you, and you're very right that it takes a whole lot of effort to stay in contact. The good thing about facebook and blogs is that it makes the effort so much less.

    I know what you mean about primary school friends changing, some of them added me on fb and they really have grown from when I last saw them. It sounds tough when I'm remembering it, but it didn't feel like it at the time! But I did read a lot of books then, it was almost all I did in my spare time (of which I had in abundance, because mum was often out working). So your theory about escaping into the world of fiction is fairly accurate, I didn't think of it that way before :)

    I hope we do go to the same uni, that would be the best!

    1. OMG, SHARING A FLAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD OPTION, while I'm saving money for a house, but my parents would be quite sad. :(


      Oh, and mum and dad will have no choice but to let me out more when I've hit my 21st or something :\

  4. mum won't let me move out of home unless I'm moving overseas, getting married or going uni interstate :9 She said it's a better way for me to save up for a future house lolz

    @Xiao: I still haven't been to your place and we practically live in the same suburb :/

  5. You should come to my house! Doesn't have to be for any reason, just come visit! There isn't a huge amount to do in my house, but you could bring some work and call it a study group.